2/3/2004

 

How James Spillane changed the world for a few brief minutes.

 



James Spillane 29 sits in the home satisfyingly writing the word satisfyingly. Originally he wanted to write a story that captured the anatomy of time. At exactly 9:00 on a Saturday night he would write in great detail what every intimate relationship in his life was doing at the exact moment. Realizing the difficulty of this task, and its ability to maintain its journalistic integrity, James instead decided to call every single person and asked them to project exactly what they ‘thought’ they would be doing at 9:00 that evening.


Chris Holland 28: was sitting on his elbow bend couch when he asked his wife tiffany what she wanted to watch, tiffany then said, “how about you turn off the TV and we just talk?” Chris shocked tiffany by turning off the TV before she even finished the sentence. They sat quietly on the couch as wave of silence oozed its way into to living room. Both of them were thinking to themselves, this is ‘nirvana’. Suddenly out of no where, the cell phone rings. Chris instinctively knew it was James (who for some unknown reason only has the cell phone number) and only James would call him this late in the evening. Chris’ assumption was correct, as he picked up the phone and said, “go”. James then informed Chris that he was writing story that involved research, James then asked Chris exactly what he had been doing, what he was doing at the current time and what he thought he might be doing in ten minutes. Chris then informed James about the couch, about the silence, about the nirvana he was experiencing until the rude interruption. James just laughed. Chris then informed James that Tiff was shocked when he turned the TV off, and that it was also redundant because in less than ten minutes tiff would want to turn the TV back on in order to watch her favorite program, “the bachelor.” This would be proceeded by both of them heading upstairs and racing each other to sleep.
“Racing?” James said
“Yes, we race each other to sleep, you see Tiff gets pissed off if I fall asleep first, I guess she worries that she will not be able to sleep or something. We have a keen method of gauging who goes to sleep first.”
“How is that?”
“If you listen closely, the breathing changes.”
Afterwards James and Chris freely conversed about:
• a nervous looking guy on jeopardy that made James feel nervous just looking at him
• the fact that there is almost 50,000 planes airborne over the United States at any given time
• an old Microsoft excel class that Chris took at the university of Florida that used formulas to help businesses become more cost effective
• that if 99% of flights were actually on time, there would be approximately 5,000 plane wrecks a day
• Beached whales die from overheating, where as James had originally thought they died a slow form of suffocation, from there extreme weight, in where the whales were not strong enough or at least there bodies were not formed well enough to draw oxygen into their lungs when out of the water. James related this to a different form of mammal crucifixion.

Chris informed James that he already knew the last bit of information and that he better be getting back to his wife, because there was only a few minutes before the Bachelor came on. James said he was sorry and bid them good night.

Gavin Ferguson 10: Gavin, the son of James, currently living in Mons Belgium with his mother, James’ ex-wife, lays asleep in his bed waiting for Sunday morning to come. He repeatedly tosses and turns kicking off sheets and spilling the pillows onto the floor. He even kicks the wall, chipping the big toenail on his right foot. Maybe he is dreaming about soccer, about scoring the game-winning goal. James has no idea of telling for sure, because James is unable to enter his son’s mind while he sleeps, and more importantly he doesn’t want to call them this late at night, or shall we say morning, because they are nine hours ahead.

Wesley Edholm 27: finishes packing his bags, and exits his apartment in Phuchet Thailand. Wes is catching an afternoon flight back to the states where he will first spend day or two visiting with his mom in Friday harbor. He also intends on spending an evening throwing back beers with Cody webkur at the local pub, herbs. Wes will then head down to Seattle, spend a night or two with James and his Girlfriend Amber Kiker up at Snoqualmie pass, where he intends on using James’ ford Taurus to shuttle himself back and forth to the city in order to take advantage of the Rain City skate park located next to Safeco field. Wesley will then fly out for Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a wedding of long time friend and business partner Johannas Krieger. Johannas is also friends with James Spillane, Cody Webkur, and Erin Strain, who is James sister and who will also be attending the wedding, everybody knows that Cody will not make the wedding, because he is, well, Cody. James’s excuse is that he is temporarily poor, moving into his knew condo and all. As Wesley walks towards the taxi that will be whisking him away towards his almost certain future that is most defiantly filled with fun, he thinks off several things:
• jet lag
• will the food on the plane suck
• how fat everyone has gotten, most of all, James
• will it be noticeably colder then just as one gets used to it will then become noticeably hotter in Cabo
• did he pack right
• are the Tony Robbins audio tapes packed


Amber Kiker 25: the girlfriend of James, who called about an hour and a half-ago sits impatiently waiting for James to pick her up. When James called her at the restaurant in which she waitresses, he asked her what she had been doing, what she was doing, and what she would be doing.
“I am talking to you asshole”
“But what have you been doing, right before I called you”
“Working”
“Yeah, but I am writing a story…”
“I don’t have time for this, just make sure you pick me up at 10:00”

James Looks at the clock and realizes that he is now, (right now as I Type this) fifteen minutes late in picking up Amber. James thinks about spell checking his story, he also wants to make sure to add important details, such as the restaurant that she works at “the Pancake house” not to be confused with the “international house of pancakes” even though they both use the same color scheme. James Hopes that Amber will not be to mad with his tardiness, and if she is he will just say:
“I thought you would want to play a few games of Pac-Man” which happens to be her favorite game.