Random thoughts from a random mind


(Notes on the title: random is order in the sense that it has designation. Let’s say you had a number machine, or better yet, your iPod. You could produce things numerically or randomly… just the simple fact that it exists as a choice makes it unrandom and gives it order. “How do you want to play these songs?” “Randomly” “in what order do you want to pick your lotto numbers?” “Randomly.”)

On September 19th 1985 at 7:19 was randomly killed in Mexico City at the Nuevo León. I am the uncle of the famous Placido Domingo. At the time I didn’t know what was happing, all can recall was that the earth started to shake and looking up at the wall I could see large cracks spreading out like something from a dream. For a brief moment I calculated the laborers coming to fix those walls. I saw the reconstruction of the wall and imagined the owner and contractor arguing of the cost while men covered in drywall dust moved around in the background. Right then the whole upper floor came crashing beyond me head crushing my entire body like a plywood press. There was a moment, a brief moment when I was trying to calculate what had happened. I think I was already dead at the moment, but it was nothing real, it was surreal. I thought I was dreaming. And the dust and the rock were in my teeth and gritty. I thought, this isn’t happening. I remember specifically that at that moment I thought I was the only person who had died in that event, that I was the only person who had ever died, and ever will. And that it wasn’t all that bad. This is all true this really happened, if you don’t believe me look it up.
Today I made a Wikipedia website of myself. I took a screen shot of the page, and edited everything on Photoshop took some pictures and added my complete bio. I included the fact that I speak four languages and made numerous movies as an actor, authored a couple of books and artistically made music, paintings, drawings and murals. Just type James Spillane into Wikipedia and find out I didn’t exist.
That is interesting that you bring that up. It is almost like now in our current age that one doesn’t exist unless they could be found on Google. Like they are leaving their footprint in cyber space.
Yeah that was what I figured when I created it, that was my drive. I figure no one will ever be able to look me up, that I have to falsify the documents and make it happen. I have to create my own reality.
But you do exist, the simple fact that I am talking to you, that your fingers are moving across a keyboard creating this, that you will post this and it will be archived somewhere in some cache on the internet. You are forever.
Slow down, you are sounding a little creepy dude. That is not what I mean, I mean, although there is YouTube and all that, and that you can post, there is just so much information out there and the more you look at it the more you want to see. It is like looking at the stars at night and you look up at them and you mind just melts. You can’t imagine that it goes on forever and ever. And how it started and if it started, how did you happen? I mean. Or solar system formed, the earth just happened to be the right distance from the sun, it had all the minerals and they somehow had to rely on asteroids hitting us, and shit like that…
Slow down dude, you are sounding a little creepy.
Good one. But no think about it, I mean fuck, think about the simple fact that we wouldn’t exist without the moon.
What do you mean?
Well the moon is earth, the earth was hit by an asteroid or something when ever, a brief moment in history, and it dispersed all this dust and shit into space… because of that and the way objects attract because of gravity… they slowly started to comply into this orb this orb that created stability. Before that the earth was a massive spinning sphere in space there was no equator as we know it, no south pole, no north pole, it just spun crazy and the sun like a magnifying glass in a kids hand just scorched the shit out of everything. Because of the moon, because of the stability, we have a rotation, aligning us the way we are.
So chaos created order. The two can’t exist without each other?
Something like that. The thing is we are now trying to control it, like let’s say an asteroid is heading for earth right now, and one probably is a thousand years out or whatever, but we will try and stop that from happening with some crazy ass star wars sort of defense shit. Truth is, it would be natural for it just to smack into us… I mean people if you are going to eat organic and all, might as well go all the way with this nature shit. Doesn’t that seem more natural?
Not really and I think you are reaching. I mean this isn’t a freak accident; the chances are like one in a zillion, there has to be a purpose. Like maybe if we are the ones who can figure out how to stop their own annihilation because of an asteroid or something that maybe we are a higher level, that there is a god, that we are meant to be and deserve it.
You are talking about enlightenment. The simple fact that we have tennis shoes that light up when we step takes us out of that equation.
No, that is money and greed and marketing that takes is out of that equation. Fuck it is not like we have other worlds to go off of or something like that, it is our first go at it, there for it is natural.
But we have our own history to go off of and we make the same mistakes.
I guess you are right about that. But really this is natural. Think about it.
All I can think about is the fact that matters attract in space. Because of the gravity that matter has. I don’t really understand it, but if you were to look at the simplest form of things, to rocks floating in space, no thought, no content, no nothing, given enough time they would eventually come together and join as one.
Yeah. And when you think of our own world that we are the only thing on this planet, the only species that makes the environment adapt to us, rather than adapt to the environment. That is freaky.

Well I am going more off of that stuff about water, I mean, that Japanese doctor who started making ice crystals out of water, and he would speak to the water and say nice things to it and it would form these beautiful crystals, and he would play Metallica or some shit like that and the crystals would be all deformed… somehow the water was connected to us, we were connected to it.
Yeah I read about that, I know what you are talking about and I agree with you, we are all connected, but question is…

(Wouldn’t it be funny, if right now while writing this I was hit in the head by an airplane dropping out of the sky?)
The question is, are we all one, are we unique and different.
We are both. I mean, that is what bends my mind when I look at the stars like I am at a movie or something. We are looking at us, we are a part of it, and we are a part of the universe, the sun the galaxies… all that shit, the plant in your living room and the shit that you take every morning. We are here now. Can we transcend it?
Your views are so big, and you need to narrow them down.
How do you mean.
I mean. For example, talk about how after world war two we became a consumer culture. You have talked about that before and it made sense to me when you were talking about how cigarettes had to sell more cigarettes and shit like that, how consumerism meant that you were someone how people started to identify themselves with what they owned after the industrial revolution, and that people who were drunks or jail birds or whatever they didn’t exist… they were hidden and shit, like a third person.
I could go into that, I mean; I have spent many hours thinking about that coming up with my own conclusions, but there is something bigger to think about right now. I mean, if I was to die right now, and our idea of death and how it works, how you are gone, done see you later. Does it apply? Do I have legacy, do I exist?
You ever hear that thing where they said that we invented an afterlife because we dream?
Yeah I heard it, I am you so of course I heard it, what I am saying is looking at something so small like that is huge and looking at something big can be simple.

Well let me ask you this then, why did you write that in the beginning. About plaxico Domingo’s uncle and all?
I don’t know, i think it was the fact that the mexico city earthquake really happened, and that he really died, not only him, but his wife and two children and people don’t know that, there is a name for a building that they died in. and they are gone and that they had thoughts before they died but they are unrecorded, they cant be googled, or you cant look it up on google live streets. This by the way is a freaky fucking thing. That we are all voyeuristic and would want to know these things eventually and that somehow way will figure out a way to know this. There will be a way to record every human thought. And that eventually we will evolve into something so complex and so unnatural that we will either have to give ourselves the title of god or be eradicated from the universe… I am leaning towards global warming.
You are such a hippy, plus I think you are nuts.