8/26/2007

 

crush

 

The tsunamis came and washer her all a way and the dreams came and made her stay.
God it seemed like so many nights that she fumbled footballs in my dreams… rolled over and kissed me told me it was ok. We were raising a kid, and he was there, she was there in my dream like something that I had to hold onto. Like something that you should.
I look at Kim, she is all curled up on the couch, and her tits blowing up and her ass is great I feel afraid to tell her how good she looks, how good she looks to me, saving me…
You have no idea… I whisper to myself, I start singing songs, listing to Thom Yoke and arcade fire. And the blood pumping through my skin… if you only knew the life I lived as him.

This house, this room is something I can curl up into, and let everything end around me as long as I have your fingers running through my hair… I say this loud, and she sleeps unaware of me. I dance a little thinking how far I have come, I kiss her forehead and lips careful not to wake her.
Alaska
You are so big, bigger than me… it seems like everything has always been bigger than me and I am big… but not that big.
I accept this, I kiss you tonight, I kiss her, for everything I ever lost ungrateful… my mother, my father… my genes, my sister, god and everything I have cursed. I uncurse you now, because my arms are falling off of and my face has cancer, I destroyed myself, and hid behind a hood to be here and see what it looks like, as it is… and it makes me want to cry over and over again.