11/3/2007

and there i was, first your voice

You were so beautiful. I mean your house, your wife your future when my future was desolving, when I was moving back to the states moving back into Washington and become more evil than I had ever become before… you have no idea how much I hated you then, me at zero, you beging. I was sleeping with girls for a free tee shirt a new beginning I wanted a boyfriend to get pissed, I wanted to shake it up so bad, it was dark… nobody ever came to kill me, nobody every came to love me… as a result I published more shit that a writer ever though of publishing. But it was dark… you were there two weekends, and I was driving down there every weekend I could afford the gas. Your big screen, my amber. Your pots and pans, my life stabbing itself todeath it was like trying to bail out the boat and everyone else was drilling holes… but I placed them all so, I made sure they were sinking my ship. Sink this ship would say, acting all invincible… kill me if you can… and I would fall asleep in her arms who ever she was that night. ,,, god I hated you and loved you all the same.