i my life, finger bang


My mother smoking 1980, Harrison pond. Slipping her hand and Marlboros down under the seat, an index finger rising over her Irish lips, no. a secret. As a youth all these secrets.
We throw them like footballs. Hard against the night, these hidden things maybe these things are about being Irish, and German, and all that. My conflict.
I was good, perhaps great with a pellet gun, and I killed all the fish at Harrison pond and figuried out a way to slay the snapping turtles that ran rampant among my dreams. A lot of things happened there.
I stood over the gushing gutter, the concrete constructed man made whatever and thought for the first time, with my little pellet gun, my garbage sack, joey teckverk was a lackecy that knocked my front teeth out. Later had sex with my sister erin.. I ruled the world. Controlled the things around me. I shipped them here and there. moving them into new places. Erin thank god you lost and found yourself,
A rock cliff, a brick wall,
My arms handing out off the dinner table like limp limbs connected\\\ my heart hurting, for what you are doing, always what you are doing your big brother?
I got it all here.
A kiss, a love, sleep