1. Kurt was tall and good looking and I think now meeting him, perhaps I met him after he fell off of a fishing vessel, perhaps I met him with strength in myself, and met him with his xtra-tuffs, and sweat pants and all the crazy things that I think are a man, and get all my insides moving… my guts and inner things constantly about these men, and I can’t think of any other man to make me.
Kurt comes out of the wood work, and he is hard and strong, his arms stingy, his grip good and majestic yet with hands like sandpaper. His girl might make a pumpkin soup, I think about all the ways I can kiss him and pee outdoors like a male.
2. Perhaps an image of a man walking down the street instead of driving… to save on gas, save the planet and his waist line and he just buckles funny and backwards perfectly at the knees, almost like, from the knees down everything was normal and contempt, while the rest was one of those funny toys where you pressed the button and the plastic character collapsed. Like a space shuttle blowing up. You release the button and the man erects again. That would be fun.
3. All the strength of me falls, it has commas behind it cruising back, she sleeps and I throw towels upon her head and listen to all the coughs.
4. Please don’t take me back there to all the darkness. I say, I have been dark and now I see light… my teeth feel good and my arms look strong and hockey is not an issue...
5. Blades of some sort of Japanese grass slash upon my face and slowly I start to take apart all my limbs, I throw them out in the sweat of it… all the army of it. When I think of my mother and father I think of chewing rocks until all my teeth fall out and I think of having a gun on my hip… something that I can pull out of the holster like a paint brush by numbers and make this beautiful picture this movie of sorts… where I make a sound track Bob Dylan and Matt Damon… (but it doesn’t happen instead) My wife she sleeps, I turn on the camera but I can only catch her now…. Sometimes I like to imagine myself as the shortest fattest man in the world. Some people grow tall and look good in pictures but I just keep getting more dense and compact. By the age of 35, I am 4 inches by 4 inches and 4,000 pounds, most; including my wife think things are astray. They salve for future geometries but I keep compacting like the trash that you are too lazy to take out. All the words, images and histories diamond … I film it, and sometimes when I show it to others I make a show of it and release aromatic aromas into the air, I vibrate the seats, the lights flash and flicker. My arms weave through the air and come back to me in all the wrong places, the girls come back to me, the ocean waves come back, the mountains and salmon and every picture ever took, until I collapse it all in upon itself like a black hole. I am now 2 inches by 2 inches and still sucking it all in.
6. Kurt: She was flopping all about his sister’s bedroom, and he kept trying to get her into a position that made it comfortable, he was a righty and had less skill moving left. Her perfume was floating through the air and stinking up the room. He squeezed her tight amongst himself and told her that if she needs to change the channel that she needs to get up… she moved off the bed and got up and changed the channel to E. The room still smelled and he controlled nothing. She, standing up reaching for the phone, he pulled his shirt up showed his stomach strength. She put the phone down and slopped herself back down upon him. Without thinking he pulled her tit out of her shirt, and began to suck on her nipple growing hard in his mouth like his cock in his jeans against her resistance. The room smelled nothing like his sisters now and this girl had completely infested it and him, and he pulled her pants down, and slid her panties to the side exposing her, his manhood angst, hard against her ass, he, with his right hand reached down and gave direction to the moving mound of flesh above him. Why is her mouth so numb and moving? The tongue in his ear and moving in his own mouth… it twisted so, almost like something completely unwanted, it just kept spinning around and around like a Kansas tornado. He could smell her pussy now, pushing its wind up and over his abdomen, a waft, across his chest. He was ready and sprang her… spit on his right hand. Let’s let all the cards fall where they may.
7. Jodi: he came over last night banging upon my window and I opened it to his reckless smile and stupidity. It was almost like he never cared for anything and his freedom was completely independent. He crawled up over the windowsill and smashed his knee and rolled over and somehow made this awkward movement funny and entertaining. “Everything is interesting in the now when you are interested in history.”
8. In moments I come and become myself sort of show up and shake hands relinquishing my genetics just long enough for others to take it in and make small talk. Mostly it is to others expecting this. My expression makes all the sense and nothing at all.
9. He mixed highballs
10. And there was nothing pinning him down in any way-shape-or-form that had to do with a reference of time. A sort of anti product placement where he was constantly and shortly owning things without any logo or brand. Soap was soap, steak was steak, water was water. This is the only way to see bigger than self.
11. We couldn’t possibly use all the chairs in this room, a kitchen with an island and a knockout for breakfast, a grand piano and your mother buying a basketball hoop, now that I can use! All those chairs though, and that deck was one million miles long. The fresh smell of new VCR tapes like hose water and plastic swimming pools. Things need love, decks need it and chairs and windows and vistas… somewhere we had to stop looking at it and care and perhaps that was the hardest part, how do you care? Perhaps these are the mistakes that I make now. A place where I open up my hand and out from it comes. Like a rainbow I imagine, like a wave, ripples. And you see me for the first time like I want to be… it is harder than we expect but we all have a lot to give.