There was this amazing moment in my life that happened on Maple Dr. Right next to Joey Tekevekrs house. I stared into a maple leaf and thought to myself in my new understandings of the “now” and trying to wrap my brain out of the fact that I would get older and that now only exists in the ‘now’… I was looking at this maple leaf, live on a two year old maple tree on maple drive. I saw all the fractural veins of its life, and in my mind I imprinted it all, holding it in my hand I said to myself “today, I will remember you, years from now I can come back here like time travel” and I am not sure if those are the words used given my vocabulary which now even in my older age is limited. But I thought then, what is time? Why can’t this reality now be my reality later? Years from now, I can I hold this same leaf upon my palm and see it the same?
I can, and it is real.
These loops are funny and real but require perhaps great concentration. In my life everything is just memory… sometimes I wish I applied this to other things that go and get foggy like bad eyesight. For example, if I did the same actions of the maple leaf, to let’s say the first time I kissed my wife, threw my son upon my shoulders, a bite of Kabap in Germany, the first time a saw a death. I could perhaps live life better and fuller. Instead we are left with impressions and ripples upon a pond.
There is something connected in everything that we know, and if I knew what it was I would John Nash the noble, but I can’t. We are connected more than we know and time is just a gap like the space that a knight moves across the chess board.
When you breathe my lungs full, when you sigh my eyes fall sleepy in yawn.
We know it exists and we try to take pictures and film it and leave things to other things. Never really taking it all in until it just becomes an image of an image like a flicker… or slide show… my life in a slide show.
Pull her deeply into your strong arms, smell her hair and taste the carmex upon her lips and make it happen again and again something that you can recall more so than a leaf.
I can and it is real.