hey dad


Hey dad, do you want to wrestle? I say this from the Marriott SeaTac hotel, the one with the pool in the middle and the Starbucks. He takes a ferry and a shuttle all the way to the airport and texts me "hey Jamie, at the airport right now" I tell him I am a block away but will meet him all the same.
"I have lost weight" he says, down to 205. This is nothing, I can make this weight in a week. "what are you weighing?"
He orders a hefiweisen I order a diet coke.
You are like a sumo wrestler he says… I fall in love with this and the flickering lights and the passengers moving back and forth in moments I don’t have to catch a flight, that I am not fleeting and here under my own accord. Momentarily I think about all the airports I have ever been in and think about what possessing these places under this same stringent. I think mainly about the anchorage airport and all the great places to eat there. I imagine my wife and I crushing snow beneath our tires to eat at the airport, just walk around not waiting for taxis or warming of vehicles. I see Portland, now over my shoulder, what an interesting way to see her, this way without all the hipsters. Sky harbor, Grand Rapids, Orlando, Logan all the places to eat at LAX.
Dad asks about Finn.
(A real life conversation that dad never heard)
I am four, Dad is four, James is four, james can kick a really high soccer ball because he is a giant. And dad would totally love that, and his name is elf flow. Grandpas name is james, And now we had a Christmas tree up and now they/we put the Christmas tree up and the star up. And grandpa had to go pee. And mom/kim, came to say hi. Mom went to bed. And now up town mom had to go to work to get a really cool excavator that had bad man on it
“we can do this all day”
With batman on it… and Reilly tried to come out of mom’s tummy
And mom had a really cool excavator that when she jumped it turned into lightness
And now James went to the store to get some wood to fire up.
And Finn went to school and then dad came home and played zombies and then he played hide and seek and every game. He played two games, one was zombies and one was hide and seek. And then then dad put some wood in the fire and fired it up and then dad played this really cool game where we dropped this toy down the toilet but we had this thing to take this out. Now James said it’s time to go to bed but he was silly and he said it is time to go to bed… like that.
I don’t say this to my Father as he catches a bus to a ferry as he goes away. We just shake hands under the sea tac airport lights.
Shit happens with our without you, wish you were here.

as we turn into lightness