I laugh now


The weirdest thing happened tonight. I was all by myself for the first time, in my own house. Bob Dylan was singing about sound not escaping the gates of Eden or something like that. And just like that my mother knocked on my door, I jumped up, welcomed her and began to walk her around the house. She had never seen it before and this is the best time of year, summer all the time, the light pouring in. I took her in the backyard and tried to explain the best I could “Kim’s plan for the garden”, showed her all the little plants gathered on the tabletop facing the forever sun. I told her about the snow and showed her pictures of the boy’s just months ago… Just finishing up downstairs and showing my mom the back-back rooms where we keep all the guns and books, my father rang the doorbell.
He walked in with a leather backpack and went into the kitchen talking about paints and oysters and boats and all that stuff, in the kitchen drinking beers. “Jimmy” my mom said.

My uncle Scott called for the first time since I was ten and it was hard talking to him and my father at the same time it was like images flashing upon my mind.

Gavin came home next, but he just walked around to the back of the yard and just started hanging out and not needing much.

Then Jim came home, which was weird because I always thought he sort of dodged these sort of family events and just sort of defaulted to fishing. He wasn’t into all of us dying, but Jim had a nice sockeye ready to go…
I was busy trying to show Jim and my Dad the new house walking them all around and answering all the questions, my dad agreeing with everything Jim said, showing them the bicycles and the camping gear.

And then Kim came home, worried about the bedroom, worried about the kitchen the couches, and living room… I kissed her, over and over again until it was just a motion that we went through when passing each other, hey baby, kiss. Move

Our sons Finn and Reilly came next, just bouncing off the doors with stuffed animals and love and energy, hugging random legs. Showcasing achievements and cartwheels and fast legs running… “Watch me”

I called Wesley and Chris but they didn't answer.

Erin called and just laughed and said she would come next week… or I would see her in FH.

They all just seemed to go to sleep, my mom and Jim retired downstairs, my dad crashed out on the couch, Gavin skinned out but came back later and crashed in the downstairs back room. Kim, me and the kids just kept on keeping on like a bowl of…