Maybe there is nothing like the darkness. That is what I call it. I don’t think much of what other folks know is this darkness, I just know it is there. Because of the darkness I think of the light. People ask me constantly know how I look at the world the way I do. “James you are so happy and curious all the time”

Life is bigger than our own life and I explodes all around us and crushes and stomps around the room like drunken sailors and cuts your pigtails off, and makes love to your love and just does what it just wants too. We can’t control this.

Sometime I am look at the mountains in Sitka and walking around and falling asleep at the helm and taking it all in and my body is…. Just this thing that moves and walks and talks and expends energy, my eyes the constant video, capturing it all the fact that I was here, the fact that I existed.
The darkness is something else though. It comes gently wrapping on your door, it comes constantly in knowing our fate and existence, and it comes constantly with intelligence that this is all null.

I make love, and create, and live in these venues, pulling up in fast cars.
My teeth falling out because of love, my hair and lungs and my penis pushing up into the sky as if I existed, against all odds. Filming my father’s cabin, filming my mother’s house, filming all the places we have ever been, so that you know we existed, that you existed. You exist because of me and we exist because of the darkness. It gives us something to bounce a tennis ball against.