Or so says the e-mail I received from Chris. I was drinking a few weeks ago and mentioned something about a guy I know named Brian Wilson (not the beach boy) who makes tee shirts for a living. They are cheap tee shirts. Not cheap in quality, but in price. Apparently I told Chris that we could make tee shirts of lions and polar bears having fights, and how all the fights would consist of a two match series, the first match being held in the Serengeti where of course the lion would have the advantage, but the second fight would take place in Nome Alaska giving the advantage to an arctic dweller. I was very excited about tee shirts. But yet at the same time I was excited about the circus coming to Seattle and not just any circus but the Cirque Du Soleil, who are French, and jump through hoops that are being juggled. And it isn’t just hoops that they juggle but Balls, balloons, ropes, chains, and hats. Plus they also throw knives blindfolded at genital regions. But the thought of making a circus tee shirt really had me going. “Yes,” I said on the phone, rubbing my hands together, “circus shirts will be great… shirts with sharks and polar bears and ocelots and octopuses’ will also be great… shirts that are light blue and sure to bring out the loveliness in your eyes would be even greater!” Chris than hung up the phone. I guess that last statement freaked him out. So naturally I thought the whole wrldmrine tee-shirt-making-thing was squashed, until last night when I received an e-mail from Chris with pictures attached. What am I supposed to do now, should I make the tee shirts? Will I have money to make the tee shirts? What color will they be, dark blue with yellow pictures and text?
How will I get the shirts? Will I have to pay for them?
HERE IS AN IMAGINED DIALOG OF WHAT COULD HAPPEN WITH THIS WHOLE TEE SHIRT THING:
She says: do I have to pay for this?
He says: No, you will never pay, the shirts will be free!
She says: Will they?
He says: Yes. Would you like to have one now?
She says: Yes!
He says: Here you can have mine. You can have the shirt off my back, but wait one second while I change in the bathroom, because I don’t take my shirt off in public.
She Says: Why not?
He Says: Because I am fat and pale and pasty.
She Says: No you’re not, you're lovely.
He Says: Why thank you. And you are not so bad yourself. (She is beautiful and has large breasts, probably loves to have sex, and is capable of multiple orgasms.)
She takes off his shit pulls it over his head, and begins kiss his neck. He is scared at first a little worried and sort of covers up with his forearms. She takes this as a sign, she thinks he is actually motioning for her to take off her blouse, so she does and all the people in Safeway are shocked. Two ballsy beautiful youngesters making out and taking off their tee shirts, (one of them being a wrldmrine tee shirt) in the produce section of Safeway. But the best part of it all was that the 5 pound blocks of Tillamock cheese were on sale.
So, are wrldmrine tee shirts coming soon? Yes
How soon? After speaking with Brian Wilson, who is very busy, I would say three weeks.
Will I be moving back in with my mother? Yes
Am I really fat? Sort of, but in a healthy athletic way
Will you be mailing the tee shirts? Yes, unless you live very, very, very close
Will the tee shirts be hip and exciting? Yes of course. they will be draw attention to yourself-exciting
should you send me money? yes of course
what is my address? that is tricky because remember i might be moving back in with my mother
is it time to go now? yes i am tired and sleepy and i love you, i love you all.