laws of average


I tell everyone why wife is average. They laugh and harass me, “I can’t believe you called your wife average!”

“No seriously, she is super average, she is super normal” I say

They laugh some more.

And harass me some more. “I can’t believe you said that, if I said that my wife would kill me”

It goes into the night, this average stuff, every time the guys talk to me they say “so what do you think spillane, is that average?... is this an average quarterback, is this an average running back?”

I have been killing them on the average for years. So has chris

Our average wives and our average lives and beating the spread. That is fucking why we call it the law of averages.

I am an average man, there are so many better than me. Their bulging horse bicycle muscles of men or super retarded smart economics men… why did she choose me?

When you are average, your wife is average there is only one way up together and that is up. We go up… and have been since you.

We go up
You go down

If you only knew how exceptional we really are.