the way i figure it is...


It is has long been proven by science, that less stress is best. Knowing this, one could actually derive that if one is cool, then one has less stress because of this. But how exactly does one become cool? Looking at some of the cool people that surround me, I have produced an easy, how-to-be-cool-for-dummies sort of list. Follow these steps and I guarantee Chris Holland’s left nut that you will be cool, and maybe have less stress in your life.

1. Hang out with hot chicks, preferably blond, and have big tits. Something about guys hanging out with these chicks, they just look happier.
2. Have your own TV show. People with their own TV shows look and act like they are having fun
3. Have a huge cock.
4. Win an Olympic gold medal but make sure you do it in sport that is cool and will make the cover of sports illustrated. But here is the catch, you can’t win it in sport like hockey, or soccer, or anything thing with a team, instead go for something like high diving. High diving would be perfect, because not only is it grace full like fencing, but wearing those Speedos are bound to show of your huge cock
5. Become some sort of black rap artist. Rap is cool.
6. Get shot while being a black rap artist, the more times the better, plus it gives you something to rap about. Like, “hey I been shot, I been shot a lot and you have not.”
7. Dump your porn star girlfriend for a model, then dump the model... it shows people that you are great at sex, and super attractive, attractive and fuckworthy enough to pick and choose.
8. become a girl with big tits
9. Then become a lesbian with big tits who only dates lesbians with big tits.
10. Repeat all the above steps except the ones that contain the word cock, remember you are a chick now.