this is a big one and it is hard to get right. I will probably rewrite this one hundred times. This would be the first script. If I wanted to concentrated on nothing but the truth you would think it would be easy to write about, tell the truth about what happened so I am going to write that, but the problem is you write and remember so so much more, it comes out of clouds and rain and mountain rivers down on you. When you were born this was it, first go.
This belly, that I would sing songs to and pull head phones around on your mothers alien landscape and I would play readahead, the song I played over and over again was called “all I need” I some how thought you could hear this weird violin followed my and intense bass, we needed intense bass to penetrate all these walls, all this skin and liquid, I would play this over and over again on your mothers stomach… she was tired and sleepy and I was taking advantage over her, I had the fire place going and the gold Kodiak night panged outside of our house, them seemed like the coldest nights, 14 below. There I was with the head phones, putting them on her belly. Over and over again… she would snore and go so sleep and I would talk to you.
I would imagine all these things, hockey, soccer, video games, movies, life, people, girls, all the things I was thinking I got good at and sort of understood. We just got this sweet job where I was making $50 an hour, that was huge, maybe not now, but then it was huge and I could go running and your mom could go to work. I was a “contractor” probably the only real job I could do. The one where I invented tomorrow, with you.
We would take turns pushing your around in the “bob” stroller, it was the only place you could go to sleep, over and over again in this stroller, night after night with the same two songs playing, some how you evolved musically from “in Rainbows” you birth to the better albums. It was all Kid A- Everything in its Right Place followed by “Kid A”
I would walk and walk and walk probably like my father did before me with Bob Dylan.
You still don’t know how you were born. It was hard and long.
Your mother was dead set on having a natural birth, we had a doula, we went to all the balanced approach classes. I learned so many things. We learned about cascading interventions, we learned about BRAIN. Which has served me well in my consulting space.
1. What are the Benefits
2. What are the Risks
3. What are the Alternatives
4. What is my Intuition
5. What happens if I say No, or Not Now.
Your mom was dancing with all of us. It was insane, I would dance and dance for hours with her and your grandmother would dance and dance for hours with her… and her water broke, but we never mentioned it to the doctors. If we did, they would have cut you out, filled your mom with drugs and your world would have been far different than the one you know. We just wanted to breast feed you, for mom to hold you there and do this. We have it on video, so perfect. You are so perfect.