4/1/2004
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letters from the road... or a Dave Chapelle skit?
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Growing up in Alaska you'd think I'd seen everything there was to see regarding gold. Heck, I've even spent a lot of time in northern California and hiked the Chilkoot Trail with my friend Shoshanna on the centennial anniversary of the greatest gold rush ever. But never in all my life have I seen some many people wearing gold. It started almost immediately when got to Louisiana and just when you think you’re beyond the boundaries, there they are again, people wearing gold. When did this become so fashionable, is what I want to know. You've got to be pretty brave to wear it around like some of these people do, bus driver's ladies wearing nice Sunday dresses, men in suits, bums, it seems that everyone has a chuck of gold on them. Did I ever know anyone with gold before--- of course not. It's too distracting. I could never hold a conversation with someone proudly showing off his or her gold. How do they get a job? Would I hire someone wearing gold? I hate to say it, but not on looks alone. I once worked with a guy who had a glass eye and would sometimes remove it at the most inappropriate times. he also had very few teeth and was constantly sucking on his lips making that really irritating noise. slurp slurp slurp... but I digress. Some of these people have little symbols embossed or impressed in their precious little chunks, I hope this happened before they started wearing it. What do the symbols mean I wonder? Truly amazing! I only hope that when my own teeth fall out, the dentist doesn't offer gold at a discount!
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