what chris likes to do with his spare time...


I called colby the other night and left him a very long voicemail. I thought it was funny because on my voicemail you have to wait till the message is finished before you can delete it. That means, he will have to listen to my entire message before he can delete it. It is the closest thing I will have to a captive audience without having to go to jail again.

So in my voicemail I laughed, cried, played music, provided a solution to the problems in the middle east, gave a review of 'the passion of the Christ' without atcually ever having ever seen 'the passion of the Christ', stopped at mcdonald's, got a massage (I had to cover the phone for the happy finish), and correctly picked 2 of the 3 numbers in tonight’s cash 3 jackpot. It was very therapeutic.

I think it would be funny if everyone else did the same thing. So here is his number. Call him. After a certain number of messages, I actually think he will stop being mad and start to see the genius in it.

Better yet, instead of having to come up with something witty for 5 or 10 minutes, you can always call and leave a one word voicemail. Picture that…(computer voice)you have 15 new messages…(beep)….'cocksucker'…(beep)….(end of message). so that is the ticket...call colby, leave a voicemail saying 'cocksucker' and hang up. as we reach critical mass with this, colby will be checking his voicemail nonstop. friends and coworkers will wonder why he is checking his voicemail so often. he will of course have to explain the whole backstory to them. this will get more people to come to our site to investigate further, which in turn will make those people call colby a cocksucker and the cycle repeats itself.

so go on, give him a call. remember, if he answers you can always hang up. but still make sure to call him a cocksucker before you do.