I design a new type of font. From high above in a sky scraper I direct the cars down below in the parking lot to make out the letters of the alphabet. I then take detailed photos of the different letters, plug them into the computer, silhouette them black and there you have it. There was a girl working at the front desk of the sky scrapper who had a lovely smile. When I write stories in this font, I can help but think of her.
When driving past Shell gas station, I erase the letter “S” within my mind.
I rob the cash room in the building where I work. I purchase the yellow jump suit weeks prior, and a fake plastic gun, and of course a ski mask… I walk up stairs after a cash delivery, don the hood and jump suite, kick in the door, freak the old lady out, take the 20 grand, run down the stairs into the uniform room, strip everything off, stash it, then walk back to my office to answer the phone that never rings.
When pest control comes to your house to remove a bee’s nest, they only take the queen bee after that the rest of the bees split leaving you alone.
If you stand outside of Costco long enough you will hear this sort of low pitched bird chirp. The sound you hear is actually a recording of bird in distress, they play this on the outside speakers located around the building in order to keep the birds away.
I fall into a series of disastrous relationships until I settle on this high brow, coltish long legged woman who likes to wear clothing that accents her natural curves, mainly her breasts. We drink copious amounts of liquor together and rent rooms in the Hotel St James making love in every room possible, except the bedroom. One day we take a walk to this pond, lay down in the lazy sun, and she sucks me off as I read the latest edition of McSweeneys.
I can’t come up with the letters or the words or the money to bring her back, instead I just get distressed and chase her away and what I’m left with stings like hell.