the alamo-mexican-al roker


i have taken to the habbit of calling everyone "tex." everybody responds, and no one seems to mind. yesterday I went to San Antonio and checked out the Alamo, not that we really wanted to check out the Alamo, but rather the riverwalk, but the alamo happened to be on the way. at first impression and last impression i thought to myself, "no wonder why they lost, their walls are only 4 ft high." then later inside, they had all these locks of hair, and knives, and toothpicks that belonged to Davy Crockett, and for some reason i kept walking around saying outloud, "that there is a crock lock," refering to his hair, then it evolved into... "that davy crockett is a crock of shit" which i felt was more accomplished in wit. anywho, we did the riverwalk, which is beautiful, and i ate chicken fejitas waterside. for some reason i thought of modest mouse lyrics and amber all day. later, on the way back to austin, we stopped at a super factory outlet and i picked up a shirt at old navy (4.99). wanted to get some retro new balance and pumas, but they cost too much. don't know why, but this made me think of amber again. upon leaving, and sort of durring, we noticed about 50 percent of the cars and people there were from mexico. that is a long drive. but they were the rich mexicans and all drove beautiful cars. i was approched several times by people with donation cups and fliers, all of these kids were college age and dressed in nice clothing. they were asking me if i wanted to donate money to starvng kids, or to injured kids, or something to do with kids not having money and needing my money. and I sat there and thought, "you know, i don't have a job, i am unemployed, i have bills upon bills to pay... can you give me some money?" then looking around i thought, wow, how things have changed. every single place i went, mexicans were working, every nice car in the parking lot was driven by a mexican, all the construction sites in my siters neighborhood were constructed by mexicans. all making good money. and this is america. i am an american. wierd. bush is tooting his horn about 350,000 new jobs, but they 350,000 new jobs for mexicans. you eithe make 12.00 bucks an hour here, or you make 30.00 an hour here. there is now inbetween. and since i am inbetween, i have been deleted.
later, this morning, (it is funny to say that because morning is mostly earlier, i have a funny story about this) but anyway, i was watching Al roker drive around to these different cities in a 18 wheeler that is loaded with donations for poor people. he would pull into a town, or some distrubution place, and start handing out sleeping bags, colman lights, business suits, staplers, and other odd shit. what fuck is a single mother with three kids, 1,000 rent, 100 phone bill, medical expenses and all that shit, going to do with a fucking stapler, an air matress and an electronic dart board?
these are wierd times we live in... i am observing it all, taking in all the absurdity, trying to understand it. years from now, when i look back, the only thing i will be able to compare it with is dadism.