I am doing it again. I am looking at my cell phone, trying to take away from the pathetic look of a man sitting alone in a bar. Like this is some source of media and that maybe on lookers who are watching me might think that I am viewing tv or a video game on my tiny little LCD screen. What am I doing? I am not getting up and walking outside, yet in front of the windows in full view of everyone, yet outside. Does it look real? Does it look like I am talking to someone? Move your lips, mouth the words with your big open mouth smile, no don’t smile, talk out loud and laugh because you are having fun, more fun than all the people inside. They are looking out the window at me, who is pacing back forth up and down the side walk acting like I am speaking to some one, acting excited, rubbing my hands together.
Yes… no way…. So when are you getting down here…. You got to be kidding… I fucking told you… get real…. Well lets blow this shit hole…I am off like a prom dress… see you when you get here.
And I hang up and smile, shake my head back and forth in sort of “no way, that is to funny” expression for everyone to pick up on. They are looking at me and thinking to themselves “that guy is having more fun in life than us… who was he talking to… he was excited”
I then walk straight to the pisser because I want to judge myself in the mirror to look for buggers and stray nose hairs that are reaching across my nostrils and rubbing themselves against the oppisote wall to be confused as a bugger. I am looking for hair that is standing up and out of place. No I am watering my hair and messing it up on purpose to get that male model look, that crazy id don’t care sexy wild look. I look stupid. I take a paper towel and pat it back down against my head trying to absorb as much wetness as possible. i then look at the paper towel (a product of Fort James) and notice the perfect wet looking hand print outline. I decide to pee which is stupid because if some one was to walk in they would think that I was actually finishing up, but then would be shocked to see me turn around and begin urinating only to wash my hands again.
I go back out side and sit down and think about moving from my seat way in the back to one more up close to the television set. Yes that is what I am doing, I am watching the game, I am watching the lakers finish off the spurs. I am waiting for a friend… a friend that makes me laugh uncontrollably. I doing it again I am getting up and walking out side, yes I have another phone, it is him… I am talking loud, I am laughing loud
Yes…. Where the fuck are you… she said what… I told you man… sweet, I’m game… tell them to pick up their own damn wine coolers…