6/22/2004

 

tear down build up

 

They were throwing sticks. Spears. I thought about one in particular. I looked at it sitting there at my feet and imagined it's brass head sticking itself through my center. All rusty and primitive and killing me just the same. Through my spine and out the front I look down, contemplate things for a few moments, ‘everything from here on out is Novocain.’ I look at the sky and try and locate the sun and hope for a sunset but take what I can get.

My finger, at first was all the way on the trigger, sort of like I was trying to squeeze everything to death or arm wrestling it and then automatic like, I slid my index finger back until it was nothing but tip. The killer in me is just a tip of everything I can point at. My breathing, slows I think to myself :this is what I am built for.

Preston asks me to scrap the letters off of the side of his boat; he gives me some sort of heating gun, and a stick that is used to stir paint. He stands over my shoulders and explains it all over and over again. Then the phone rings and he answers it, and talks and talks and talks. When he is done he walks back over to me and says, “No, no, no… what you want to do is scrap it like this” so I ask him why he isn’t doing it himself, and he looks at me and says, “Because this is nigger work, do I look like a fucking nigger to you?”

Madonna [luck] is here and she is dancing in front of all these lights that are flashing, she must be at a club, this is for the club. She is old, how old is she anyway? She is marketing this, some how she, or someone she knows is a marketing genius, they are marketing this for the age that spends their money recklessly, that 19-27 age group. They are care free, but we are older, she is older, we are smarter and we know the difference, she should know the difference godamnit…

Carpenter. Jesus was a carpenter. Actually he was a Mason. He had to be. There were no fucking trees there. I mean, think about it? It is not like they were in the northwest. Even in Europe all the houses are made of brick. All the houses are made of brick. Dallas told me that if I tell Bruce I already have belt, he will up my pay right off the bat. “He knows you aren’t out there borrowing everyone else’s shit.”

What do I need?

1. a belt
2. a hammer
3. chalk line
4. tape measure of course
5. and a level

Because everything needs to be level