It is still light out at eleven pm (these northern latitudes) and it is warm out. I should be out, pissing and trolling for girls. “Trolling for colon.” Sometimes you can only think about the good times.
Can’t stand the direct TV commercials. That blue screen background, the actors holding the “actual letter” a stool neatly placed just incase they get tired reading the “actually letter” and the crowd laughing afterwards at the actors fictitious comments
Every time I am at the job site [1] I imagine hearing those very dreaded words, “Darrell managed to cut off both his legs with the skill saw” it is constant fear that we all live with.
How come presidents shake everyone’s hand before they are elected, then never touch another human being again [2]
I wasn't really hanging a baby over the hand rail; I was actually hanging a highly sophisticated robot in diapers, with legs that kicked.
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[1] a story about construction and jesus the carpenter who had his legs sawed off
[2] historical documents proving that presidents stop holding, and shaking hands, and in general, stop touching people all together after they get elected, almost as if they sit down after being sworn in and say, "jesus christ the carpenter, i will never rub my flesh against another fat old dying person again... i will have special agents make a little special bubble for me to walk around in... do you love me like i loved you yesterday?"
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