If I was to try and make you evil you still wouldn’t move like my dreams


My average speed is 82.3 mph. I have never lost a sled in my life. Sometimes it gets behind me, or on top of me, or in front of me but I always manage to hold on. My worse crash was back in Calgary. It was cold out, maybe 30 below and I was standing in my gate waiting for the start, it was hard to keep warm, finally I got the signal. I don’t know if it was because of the sheer cold, but the athletes weren’t able to keep warm, everyone was losing their sleds, crashing turns and it was no different for me. I hit the first turn at 80 mph and my ankles slapped together shattering both of them instantly. I had to finish the course with two broken ankles. I can’t imagine anything more painful in the world than snapping your ankles like that.

There is a man looking down as if he is contemplating something of great importance. There is music that resembles the opening soundtrack for the movie “Heat” but reminds you of Miami Vice. The man than looks up with a blank stare (like a deer in headlights.) He shakes his head left, then right then walks into the camera that is filming it all.

My hatred for doors that have knobs in the middle is matched by my hatred of doors that have handles in the middle.

In Sierra Leone, while on a UN peace keeping mission for refugees displaced by warfare, I met limbless African children who hobbled around with worms coming out of their flesh and flies on their faces.

“Listen, I ain’t your cuz you rap mother fucker”

If I was to try and make you evil you still wouldn’t move like my dreams.

HAIR: “Her hair is supposed to look untamed,” says stylist Joni Von Hendritch “as if her character could have done it herself.” Joni applied Aveda leave-in elixir to damp the hair and then pinned it back to air dry, she then brushed it out by running her fingers through the tangles before loosely braiding it down in the back. She tied the ends off with a strip of alligator skin, while letting a few strands fall down around the face.

I stole her. I deconstructed her and reconstructed her in my living room. Penelope Cruz sitting in my living room, thumbing through my DVD collection, I do everything I can to make her laugh, I employ funny moves from the elbow arms and torso, I am a Jerry dancing for you, all to hear that deep Spanish laugh of yours that pours through the room like lava and into my ears.

SKIN: while filming in the Mexican desert Penelope used la Prairie skin caviar around her eyes and Mario Badescu vitamin C moisturizer on her face before makeup was applied, while avoiding foundation to let the freckles show.

MAKE UP: la Prairie rose was used under eyes, on cheeks and nose to give the effect of too much sun on the face.

She started smoking maybe because it helped her to forget about the past, but she held the cigarette like a fragile image of unfamiliarity... eventually she gave it up and I admired her for both. A few things you need to know about Penelope, her body is very small, petite like a flower, and her head seems even smaller, sometimes when I kiss her I swallow her dreams and when I wrap my big arms around her midsection I am holding nothing more than a musical note of a song I had long forgotten.