There is a hefty girl that lives at the end of my apartment complex who has big tits. Her friend’s are stupid and fat, and when they pull up, instead of getting out of the car they would rather beep a horn. Sometimes when I get drunk I think about walking down their and fucking her tits. I don’t know it is just a thought.

The parking lot here is big. There are six houses on one side and six house on the other side separated by what seems to be a football field of asphalt. It would be good in these long summer nights to throw a block party. I imagine a barbecue, music, and lawn chairs. I imagine Dr. Dre and Will Smith rapping about the summer.

“Did I say I love you? Man I’m so full of shit”

Naomi calls me up, and I am glad. We talk about her, and we talk about her, we talk about driving the hills of LA, we talk about nature, she says she wants to suck on my balls, and that my cock is thick, I tell her it is important to have goals.

A lot of people don’t hear the little chirping sound in the song UGLY by smashing pumpkins, but I hear it every time. “I hear you chirping, what are you telling me?” Cody says while pushing back some liquid cocaine [gin.]

If I was black, I would dip chew, I would show it off in my rap videos, I would spit because it feels good, because it is unruly, because you can get flogged for spitting in places like Singapore. why don’t more hip hop artists dip chew? they are about as far away from real as real gets, but what the hell, all this money I spend on the bottle, I could have played lotto.

Robyn has a thing for me, she is older. She calls me up and tells me about her conquests trying to impress me. Yesterday she sent me pictures of a purple dildo rammed up her ass. Today she asked me about who I am seeing, when I told her about Naomi she then informed me that she was a romantic looking for love, I then said “yeah, a romantic that sends pictures of a dildos rammed up her ass”

It was very hard, much harder than I thought to download the Smashing Pumpkin songs, “ugly” and “cherry” maybe because they are both found on singles, I don’t know, but if I said I love you, man I am so full of shit.

“Wasn’t there a Dr. Dre on YO MTV raps?”


“What ever happened to him?”

“Who knows?”

My son comes into the room while I am composing a poem. he grabs me by the neck and begins to choke me. with my chin I push down into his forearm until he folds over onto the bed, he then gets back up and begins to choke me again, this time I grab a hold of his right hand with my left and begin to squeeze, I can feel the individual bones in his wrist. I can feel the growth plate.

When I was twelve years old I broke the growth plate in my right arm, when I was fourteen I broke the one in my left ... the doctor told me that I wasn’t done growing yet and that quite possible one of my arms could grow bigger than the other, I told him not to worry about it, and that both my arms would grow bigger than his, if you know what I mean?