My fantasy football league interviews me


FF: what are you listening to now?

Spillane: a few things are on heavy rotation, number one today was “I’ve got it all (most)” by Modest Mouse, it grows on you. I love the part where he says, “stealing from the lost and found? Like I said, it grows on you.

FF: would you have sex with Jeremy?

Spillane: no, Jeremy smokes and jerks off in the shower to his sister, or at least I do... jerk off to his sister that is...

FF: we (the dirty Sanchez football league) meant Jeremy Shockey.

Spillane: who got Jeremy Shockey anyway, I wanted to pick him?

FF: would you have sex with Swags?

Spillane: he says the word fuck too much when he tells stories.

FF: say something’s about Chris Holland the league manager.

Spillane: congrats, fag, bowlegged, receding hairline, putting the chips out there and letting them fall, rum drinker, Acapulco fresh, tivo.

FF: did you really want Jerome Bettis?

Spillane: well, I will tell you, from the very beginning Jeremy and Chris were having anal sex over who would catch the bus, so when Swag the fag picked him up I wasn’t surprised.

FF: would you have sex with Brandon horse troff?

Spillane: he has a nice jump shot and he kills it from the three point line but I like Chris’ house better, more room and space.

FF: so you are saying you like Chris better?

Spillane: no, it is like a hot dog in a hallway.

FF: ok, lets get back to football and away gay sex, do you think you will win it again?

Spillane: not a chance, I am not Joe Montan”ya” my days are over, Rich drafted pretty good, everyone drafted pretty good except me, for some reason I picked all the Ram players, I like their helmets or something.

FF: so who do you think will win?

Spillane: well for a side bet, I will say this, I will give a 100 dollars to either Swags or Flynner if they bring home the bacon.

FF: thank you Spillane for you time, now go fuck yourself.