1. On your work put your name, phone number, your e-mail address and the city and state that you live in. Also we would like for you to put the names and phone numbers of all the women you know (besides your mother.) We don't care where you live, but women are a different story.

2. Sadly, we can not, yet, offer payment. Our plans to pay you will change as soon as we are wealthy. Our plan to become wealthy is quite simple: when submitting your work, please include your credit card number, bank of issue, and expiration date.

3. Spell things correctly, especially your credit card information. We beseech you. Grammar is a different story. Sometimes we like it sometimes we hope it doesn't show up at all.

4. Introduce yourself with a short note and say hello. If you have an MSN profile and with a picture of you, or a website that has pictures of you bearing your large oversized breasts, I would like to extend the notification that we are a kind and daring people who love to be friendly. Also, if your work appears on, you will owe us.

5. If your submission is rather lengthy (over 2,482 words) delete everything and just send the pictures of yourself, along with the above mentioned information.

6. Do not tell us that you love us, unless you mean it. If that's the case, then there is no shame in it. If you only like-like us, our feelings won't be hurt: just keep it to yourself.

7. We do not like animals, romantic dinners or long walks on the beach, although there are a number of stories on that pertain to the following, this does not represent the people who run this site. We are strong, attractive, disease free men looking for beautiful women.

9. It is fine if we take too long to respond, if you are a male, we might never respond, but do not let this deter you from sending us your credit card information. If you have noticed that no money has been withdrawn from your bank account, please take the time to resubmit.

10. Call your mother. She misses you.

11. Now click here